In 1986 after two long years of battling breast and brain cancer, my mother finally returned home to the Lord. At this time I found it necessary to make a change of scenery and stretch my wings.
I went to Plano United Methodist Church in Plano Texas in 1987 after my Local Pastor License as youth minister at Lawrence United Methodist Church (LUMC). During my time at LUMC, I attended a youth conference with David Stone. David Stone at the time was one of the foremost youth ministry experts in the United Methodist Church in the country. I actually spent a few moments in conversation with David after the conference officially ended, but before David left. The conversation was good and enlightening. He truly was an inspiration for me in my passion for youth ministry. Our conversation ended very politely.
Shortly after the conference, out of the blue, I received a phone call from the Senior Pastor at Custer Road United Methodist Church (CRUMC). At the time in 1987 it was the fastest growing United Methodist Church (UMC) in the country. David Stone had mentioned me and my work at Lawrence United Methodist Church to the Senior Pastor at PUMC. Next thing I know I'm on a flight to Dallas for an interview. And then, bam, I was off to Plano Texas as the Youth Director.
I quickly became good friends with Ron and Celia Whitler. Celia is a christian singing artist. Ron at the time was the Youth Director of the UMC across town in Plano. Both Ron and Celia helped a lot in getting acclimated to the youth of Plano and Dallas in general. The time I spent in Plano was exciting and depressing at the same time. I was doing my dream work as youth director of one of the largest churches in UMC conferences. I had 700 7th - 12th graders for Sunday School. I had almost 40 volunteers I guided in Sunday youth education. Sunday evening I had over 125 youth for youth group and and about 25 different adult youth leaders as volunteers. Everything was going great. All I thought I wanted more than serve the God I loved and working with youth in ministry, was a spouse. That began the beginning of the end of my work at Plano.
After about a year in Plano, I left after coming out to myself. I somehow always knew, but thought it was something I would grow out of, and that magically I would have desires for women.
Even after painful midnight sessions of crying on the church altar when it was empty and no one was there, it seemed the answer for changing my desires for men would not come. I couldn't see working with youth, telling them to be honest to themselves and their parents when I was living a lie myself. It just didn't seem the Christian thing to do. I had a hard time with coming out and did some, well, not so ministerial activities, if you get my drift... It was rough. In some respects it still is... I still struggle with my demons like we all do on a daily basis. Dietrich Bonhoeffer is one I look to for support when I am feeling down. What he went through, just to save the German Church from Nazi Germany is, well, quite a miracle I would call it... He is definitely one of my heroes of the Church.
But I digress... Getting back to my short bio...
So I left the ministry and went into secular work and did very well for myself. I worked first as a systems engineer for a NASDAQ company back then called the The Future Now (a wholesale reseller of IT products and service delivery). That company was converted to a new company called XLConnect. That company in turn was finally purchased by Xerox and we became Xerox Connect. All the while I was quietly honing my technical and teaching skills and getting IT certifications out the wazoo - Certified Novell Instructor, Microsoft Certified Trainer, Seagate Instructor, Enterprise Backup Solution Specialist, and finally getting my training in project management, becoming a Certified Project Manager and member of the Project Management Institute. During that time, I started a brand new division in Xerox Connect and was a Principal for the first Project Management Office (PMO) out of the Indianapolis Office of Xerox Connect. I helped build PMOs throughout the company.
During that time I had an opportunity to join IBM. I left Xerox Connect and became a Project Manager in IBM Global Services and worked out of the Indianapolis Office. Yet all through this time... I knew I was called... I knew I had made a promise... I knew I had to keep it...
[Flashback: It was during my time at The Future Now in August of 1991 I met the love of my life. His name is Brian. He is a cardiovascular nurse at Methodist Hospital in Indianapolis. Long story short... Brian and I will celebrate our 20th anniversary on August 10th, 2011].
It was about a year and a 1/2 with IBM Global Services when I was 41 (my 12th anniversary with Brian), I became very sick. After being admitted to the hospital, and literally being on my death bed in a matter of a day of becoming ill and getting admitted I was diagnosed with Idiopathic Platelet Thrombocytopenia and a host of deadly diseases, and my physician told my lifetime companion and best friend, Brian, to prepare for my funeral. I had several of those infections all in my spinal fluid, anyone of which are fatal in and of themselves.
If you know anything about medicine, the following will make sense, if not - it won't. I was diagnosed with MIA, MRSA, VRSA, MAC and few others I can't remember. Brian stayed by my hospital bed 24/7 during my acute phase and held my hand and prayed to my mother who had passed in 1986 for intercession, to Holy Mary for intercession, and to God for intercession. By what I can only surmise as luck of receiving an excellent physician, and a loving spouse who spoke to me everyday even when I wasn't conscious and a loving God who for some reason chose to show mercy on my health issues, I survived. My Infectious Disease Specialist could not believe that I survived one of the infections, let alone five. In her 20 years of practicing medicine, she has never seen anyone recover from what i did. She did not have a medical reason why I survived. She too said that some Other Power (God) must have had a hand in it.
It took almost 6 months cumulative (in and out) of hospital stays, a year IV Injections of Level II Antibiotics (I was on this particular drug than any recorded patient), two (2) more years of home recuperation with a VERY VERY patient and loving nurse/spouse named Brian before I was restored to my health as I was before I became ill. .
I don't thing God was quite done with me yet. He wasn't gonna let me out of the promise I made to Him many many years earlier in high school to serve in the ministry. The thing is, I just didn't know any ministry that I felt called to other than Youth Ministry - and yes even today no church will hire an openly gay youth minister - well at least not yet in the Midwest - not sure about your neck of the woods.
It's funny how God works...
Now seven years later, my health has been restored (my physician can't explain medically how i survived the multiple deadly infections I had other than attributing to some other higher power. For me i knew that my God.
I have completed my Bachelors Degree from Indiana University in Liberal Arts and plan on beginning work on my Master of Divinity (M.Div.) degree in the American Catholic Church in the United States (http://www.accus.us) as soon as I am accepted to seminary. I hope to begin matriculation in the spring of 2011 or the fall of 2011, God willing. I really believe that all this happened for a reason and my focus now is to complete my M.Div., start a church here in Indianapolis within ACCUS and start an faith-based ministry to those afflicted with acute and chronic illnesses through establishing an ACCUS church here in Indianapolis.
And now that you are somewhat caught up on my life up to my 47th year (gees I still can't believe I'm that old), I can continue with the process of applying for seminary and my hopeful matriculation one day. Stay tuned for more info...
Peace,
Jeff
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
10/22/10: The initial calling
My calling came at a young age during my time in high school. Though, at the time when i first experienced the call, it was not God speaking to me through lightening bolts, or verbally answering my prayers. My experience of my calling was much more innocuous, and somewhat insidious. Sometimes God does not call us directly, but does so through our experiences in life.
It was during my senior year in high school, I had personally decided to accept God's call and made a promise to Him that I would do just that ( a word of caution: don't make promises to God that you later decide not to keep - He has a funny way of making you make good on your promise to Him! Shortly after this commitment I made to God, I began to look at my life and how I interacted with others differently. I genuinely began to care about others. But this would not be enough to reinforce my calling.
Growing up in the United Methodist Church, I had the pleasure of experiencing wonderful times as part of the Youth Group my church offered. I made many friends in my church and as started college in the fall of 1981, my calling was seemingly stronger than ever. My time spent with God was increasing more and more - and little did I know just how much I would come to depend on that precious time with my Lord.
During my junior year in college my mother was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Very shortly afterward, the cancer spread to my mother's brain and she was given less than a year to live. My senior year I returned home from college and took course from IUPUI as I could while taking care of my mother and assisting my father with daily chores of housework and living while he continued to work full-time to support himself, my mother, and now me.
I knew that my mother would not live long enough to even see me begin seminary. I pursued, applied and was accepted as a Certified Candidate for Ordained ministry in the United Methodist Church. I had begun to start working with the Church's youth group and shortly after my work, the group grew from almost nothing to about 25. My senior pastor, knowing my family situation, he asked if I would consider becoming a "student pastor" through a program of the church known as the "local licensed pastor". The program was originally created to help fill a gap in shortfall of ministers with the needs of the many congregations. It expanded to included pre-seminary students who, under the direction of an Ordained clergy, could serve as "licensed local pastor" within the United Methodist Church.
When my Senior Pastor and Associate Pastor both approached me with the idea, I was thrilled. God was giving me an opportunity to work as a student pastor and have limited responsibilities as a "licensed local pastor". After completing all the necessary paperwork and tests that the Administrative Guide for the United Methodist Church required, I received approval and was appointed as "youth minister" to Lawrence United Methodist Church in July 1986. A ceremony was held on Sunday during the first Sunday in July whereby the two Ordained Pastors of my church, held a "laying on of hands" ceremony conveying the apostolic succession to serve as a "student licensed local pastor". In that role, I served essentially as the "youth minister" and was, under the direction of my ordained ministers, had the opportunity to serve and offer sacraments to members of our local church, which included at the time, serving communion, performing the sacrament of marriage and performing funerals for our congregation when it involved members of the youth group.
This was a tremendous time for me. It gave me encouragement in knowing in my heart that this is what God was calling me to. It also allowed my mother see me serve, at least in her eyes, as the "ordained minister" she had been so thrilled that I desired to be. In a way, it paved the way for my mother to relax more about worrying what would happen to me if she died, and just 4 months after my "laying on of hands" ceremony, my mother passed of brain cancer.
Stay tuned for more on my calling and how I found myself drawn to serve, or rather how God pulled me to him to serve....
Peace,
Jeff
It was during my senior year in high school, I had personally decided to accept God's call and made a promise to Him that I would do just that ( a word of caution: don't make promises to God that you later decide not to keep - He has a funny way of making you make good on your promise to Him! Shortly after this commitment I made to God, I began to look at my life and how I interacted with others differently. I genuinely began to care about others. But this would not be enough to reinforce my calling.
Growing up in the United Methodist Church, I had the pleasure of experiencing wonderful times as part of the Youth Group my church offered. I made many friends in my church and as started college in the fall of 1981, my calling was seemingly stronger than ever. My time spent with God was increasing more and more - and little did I know just how much I would come to depend on that precious time with my Lord.
During my junior year in college my mother was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Very shortly afterward, the cancer spread to my mother's brain and she was given less than a year to live. My senior year I returned home from college and took course from IUPUI as I could while taking care of my mother and assisting my father with daily chores of housework and living while he continued to work full-time to support himself, my mother, and now me.
I knew that my mother would not live long enough to even see me begin seminary. I pursued, applied and was accepted as a Certified Candidate for Ordained ministry in the United Methodist Church. I had begun to start working with the Church's youth group and shortly after my work, the group grew from almost nothing to about 25. My senior pastor, knowing my family situation, he asked if I would consider becoming a "student pastor" through a program of the church known as the "local licensed pastor". The program was originally created to help fill a gap in shortfall of ministers with the needs of the many congregations. It expanded to included pre-seminary students who, under the direction of an Ordained clergy, could serve as "licensed local pastor" within the United Methodist Church.
When my Senior Pastor and Associate Pastor both approached me with the idea, I was thrilled. God was giving me an opportunity to work as a student pastor and have limited responsibilities as a "licensed local pastor". After completing all the necessary paperwork and tests that the Administrative Guide for the United Methodist Church required, I received approval and was appointed as "youth minister" to Lawrence United Methodist Church in July 1986. A ceremony was held on Sunday during the first Sunday in July whereby the two Ordained Pastors of my church, held a "laying on of hands" ceremony conveying the apostolic succession to serve as a "student licensed local pastor". In that role, I served essentially as the "youth minister" and was, under the direction of my ordained ministers, had the opportunity to serve and offer sacraments to members of our local church, which included at the time, serving communion, performing the sacrament of marriage and performing funerals for our congregation when it involved members of the youth group.
This was a tremendous time for me. It gave me encouragement in knowing in my heart that this is what God was calling me to. It also allowed my mother see me serve, at least in her eyes, as the "ordained minister" she had been so thrilled that I desired to be. In a way, it paved the way for my mother to relax more about worrying what would happen to me if she died, and just 4 months after my "laying on of hands" ceremony, my mother passed of brain cancer.
Stay tuned for more on my calling and how I found myself drawn to serve, or rather how God pulled me to him to serve....
Peace,
Jeff
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
10/20/10: God Calls Us All in Some Way
Greetings.
I thought that some of you might be interested in the process by which a person is called to the ministry. Whether Catholic, Protestant, or Jewish, each individual's experience will be different and unique based on their personal history, but at the same time, many similarities run through church ministry candidate that bind all those called to full-time ministry. This Blog is a little about my experience and calling as I have come to discern my calling to ministry. Each person's calling is different. This is to provide some insight to the process by which one who is called to full-time ministry goes through as he or she defines who they are, where they have come from and where they are going.
This is my story about how God has been persistent in my life and in my case, has allowed circumstances (good and bad) to occur which have made my calling personal, unique, real, and obvious within my life and specifically how God has/is calling me to one ministry which is greatly needed in today's church.
Many persons today are afflicted with physical, mental and/or emotional conditions which God turns into good from what is potentially devastating. There was a book published entitled, "Why Do Bad Things happen to Good People?". Sometimes these occur to allow God's glory, power and love shine through as a lamp glowing in the darkness.
This is my story about my calling, the process in matriculating through Seminary and finally launching my full-time ministry. I hope you find this helpful and enlightening as you discern your personal vocation. Laity and Clergy alike are both called to vocations. The trick is understanding to which God is calling you to and how you respond to that call.
Peace,
Jeff
I thought that some of you might be interested in the process by which a person is called to the ministry. Whether Catholic, Protestant, or Jewish, each individual's experience will be different and unique based on their personal history, but at the same time, many similarities run through church ministry candidate that bind all those called to full-time ministry. This Blog is a little about my experience and calling as I have come to discern my calling to ministry. Each person's calling is different. This is to provide some insight to the process by which one who is called to full-time ministry goes through as he or she defines who they are, where they have come from and where they are going.
This is my story about how God has been persistent in my life and in my case, has allowed circumstances (good and bad) to occur which have made my calling personal, unique, real, and obvious within my life and specifically how God has/is calling me to one ministry which is greatly needed in today's church.
Many persons today are afflicted with physical, mental and/or emotional conditions which God turns into good from what is potentially devastating. There was a book published entitled, "Why Do Bad Things happen to Good People?". Sometimes these occur to allow God's glory, power and love shine through as a lamp glowing in the darkness.
This is my story about my calling, the process in matriculating through Seminary and finally launching my full-time ministry. I hope you find this helpful and enlightening as you discern your personal vocation. Laity and Clergy alike are both called to vocations. The trick is understanding to which God is calling you to and how you respond to that call.
Peace,
Jeff
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)